"PT-October 5th 1:00"

I'm back up to par now, and feeling good! Lara's Aunt Karee (Jenn's sister) came over to spend the night last night, and Lara really liked the extra attention.


This morning, Karee, Lara, and I went to "Lap sit" at the library in Lincoln. It's a reading program for ages 6mo-2yrs. At first, I had to put us on the waiting list, since I called too late to register. But they called yesterday to say that there was opening, so this is a new thing we will get to do every week. I sort of hope this puts me in a good position to meet other mommies. All the mommies I know (except my neighbor) are in Bloomington, and that's not a drive I want to make very often (30min one way). There are definitely not a lot of things to do once you get into the small towns! Lara came home with a few library books.

Afterwards, we bought a few 4th of July goodies, and ate out. A fun morning!

Dustin and I have our new Sealy posturpedic bed, which is simply heavenly. I have yet to get a comforter as I am the pickiest person in the entire world when it comes to things like that (this is also why I STILL don't have window treatments after 1yr of living in my house) and can never find anything I like. Anyway. I was cleaning up around the bed and found a business card that had fallen underneath the head of the bed. It was an awful card. I dreaded looking at it, while at the same time feeling victorious and strong. I stared at it a few moments, thinking of the awful memory behind it, and yet, wondering if I should frame it. It ultimately signified a huge victory through a sad struggle. What I saw first was simply "PT-October 5th 1:00" and my heart sank. Yes, I remembered this card. It was the business card I received from Lara's PT at the appointment-the one where I was told Lara needed to see a specialist. The one where I was told she wasn't okay. I was supposed to go to a friend's afterwards, but came directly home to tell Dustin everything. Our baby has cerebral palsy. And we dived head first into a world of unknowns-unknown to you, and to everyone around you.

The card scared me at first when I looked at it, and I wanted to fling it away as if it were a bug. and then it ALL came to me. Those of you who have read this blog since the beginning know very well. All though we are still running our race, I feel that we've won. Everything is a victory. We are happy and we are strong. Yes, my 20mo old daughter still cannot walk, and it will likely be quite awhile yet. But she is healthy, very, very healthy, and everyone tells me she is bright. But if she were not those things, that would be okay too. I wouldn't change anything about Lara. I feel that we've beat our monster. I am sure there are more to come, but we got an early start.

So my card. You can ask Dustin, I am NOT a pack-rat. But this card is like my trophy. My family's trophy. So it goes in a safe place. It is our reminder of our victory.