Time for another post!! I know I have been absent. I like it when people say to me, "Hey, you need to post!" because it helps to know people really are reading.

We have all been doing just fine. I continue to feel better, though I have learned that I MUST schedule naps for myself every day and go to bed a little early. Just a little bit of tiredness will make me feel puny again. My appetite is slowly coming back, mainly in that I can eat anything now without a worry of it appearing again, but I still can't eat much in any given meal. That's okay, because I typically eat way more than is necessary anyway, so I am probably eating a perfect amount. I am growing. But whether it's the baby, or all that fast food I had at the beginning, it's hard to say. They say you show faster with subsequent pregnancies, so I'd like to think that's what it is, but since I am only 13 weeks, I think I am just kidding myself. And yet, if I really calculate how much I've eaten through the last several weeks, I don't think it's enough to cause me to look in the mirror and say, "Wow, I'm fat!" I lost about 6lbs at first, but at 11 weeks, I had gained about .5-1 lb back.

Last night, I planned a meal for a group of international students at ISU through our Women's Ministry. I am in charge of outreach, and this was my first project. We pulled it off without any mishaps, and I spent the night talking to a lady from Thailand who is researching Autism, and another lady from Nepal who brought her sweet little girls with her. It was a blessing. I also discovered that I do not have an aversion to lemon as I did when pregnant with Lara-in fact, I was craving the lemonade. And I finally got a big helping of salad I have been craving for 7 weeks. That was a blessing too.

Today is Saturday; it's very cold and rainy, so Lara and I are going to hunker down at home in our pajamas and watch the leaves fall. But tonight, Dustin and are going out to a fancy restaurant for our date night. Something to look forward to.

I wish I could get you a video of Lara singing her songs. She is doing very well at singing "Wheels on the Bus" and you would find it so cute. But she clams up when I turn the camera on.

I know that I always say this, but Lara's communication continues to improve by leaps and bounds. This morning, she was looking through a little chest, and she told me that daddy told her she can't take anything out of it or make any messes. Of course, she didn't say it just like that, but enough of this was said that I understood. It was good that she told me that because I was about to let her take everything out of it. So I was able to be consistent with what Dustin said. But I find that this means I get frustrated much more easily when Lara cries about something. I say, "Just tell me what's wrong! Use your words! Why are you crying? You can talk!"

Lara still does fine in her big-girl bed. Last night, however, she got out of bed and opened her door, about 45 minutes after we put her down (a kitty got stuck in her room and woke her up). I secretly laughed because I thought it was cute-she's such a big girl now! It was cute to see her little chubby cheeks peeking through the crack in her door. "All done?" "All done night-night?" She asked. She was mad when we put her back in bed, but she didn't give us anymore trouble. This also means no more carrying around the PNP. We will just lay her down on someone's bed, with a fortress of pillows around her. It takes her a little longer to nap in that sort of place, but when she gets tired enough, she'll sleep.

I have to tell you, little redhead toddlers who use walkers are apparently much cuter than redhead toddlers who do not use walkers. There is no pity, no sad looks, but Lara stops everybody dead in their tracks, and they will watch Lara walk around with big smiles on their face. Lara will then stop, look directly at them, and say, "Hi!!" After everyone has exclaimed their delight over how cute she is, Lara will then turn around and say, "Bye Bye! See you later!" And I think, "That's right, my daughter is the coolest." Sometimes people will ask me why she is using a walker and I have no qualms telling them she has cerebral palsy. Personally, I am so proud of Lara, but it's also a good opportunity to show people that CP is not always what you think it is. In fact, I have been very surprised at all the people at my church who have asked why Lara is using a walker. I figured everyone would know by now-but apparently a lot of people didn't have a clue. And some of these are people I talk to on a regular basis.

I have been looking into the Botox more, and have grown increasingly worried about it. First, it is not definite that Lara will get Botox soon, but probable. We are going to see how she does in her tall braces first. I have been told that Botox, while temporary, always shows drastic results. Botox is REALLY going to help her. But she will probably be getting around 4-5 shots in each leg. It's quick, but painful. Some sources have said that it's about the same as a vaccination, while other sources have said it's terribly painful. Lara is sensitive, and freaks out before a vaccination even touches her leg. HOW can I put Lara through this?? I just about started crying myself when I realized how terrible this is going to be (wonder where Lara gets it...). I had just about decided that I wasn't going to allow Botox to happen, but I talked to Lara's specialist. I pretty much said, "Please tell me you do SOMETHING to make this less painful." He said they use a freezing spray before each shot which will numb the area, or we can take her to the hospital for sedation. Either way is perfectly acceptable. I started offering up prayers of thanks right then. It's a more drawn out precedure if we go to the hospital, but Lara will never know. So we will just cross that bridge when we get there.

I have been trying to watch a Christmas show, but Lara keeps closing the entertainment armoir. I open it, she goes back and closes it. I should go, Lara is asking for "cookie" and "milk" for her snack. We never have cookies, so I think she means she wants some of her chocolate candy. Whatever mistakes I make as a parent, they will all come back to this one: I have instilled a love of chocolate in my daughter.