surgery and. stuff.

My ear surgery on Monday went really well. It was really the best possible outcome. I was very surprised to hear there was no more cyst growth in the ear so my hearing bones could be reconstructed. When my hearing stabilizes, I should hear some difference in about 4-6 weeks. Because not as much work needed to be done, my surgery lasted probably around 2 hours, maybe less. My recovery directly after surgery went very smoothly and quickly. Because I was not drugged for 6 hours this time, I felt fine once I really woke up. I warned them of the issue I have with a racing heart whenever I am brought out of sleep NOT on my own (this happens at home, as well, and I have seen my doctor about it. Nothing is wrong, it's just a weird issue I have. It's getting better now that I am sleeping better. Anyway). I appreciated that they listened to me about that, and I did not have an EKG or have to stay around longer. I assured them it would get better, and that was good enough for them.

My surgery was at a different hospital (St. John's), and I would not recommend St. John's in Springfield for surgery. They make you lay in bed in pre-anesthesia until the surgeon is ready for you. I think I just laid there for about 2 hours or something. At Memorial, they don't put you in pre-an until it's closer to time, so you can walk around, sit up, read, whatever. At St. John's, they start drugging you before you really go into the surgery room, which is annoying when you are trying to ask questions of the medical staff, and you don't really know what you are saying. :-) At Memorial, the medicine didn't start til I was on the operating table, and I felt truly ready.

The recovery was good at St. John's, though, and I had a fabulous nurse take care of me, and it was just me in my section, which meant not listening to other people scream and groan. :)

I am not wearing any sort of head bandage because they did not have to cut behind my ear this time-praise God!! There's just some packing in my ear. There is no pain, drainage, etc. The surgeon also put a tube in my ear, those things that could have prevented all of this if I had gotten some, say, 10 years ago. Tubes are probably the most difficult thing, because they produce a lot of loud noise in the ear until they stabilize. I had a hard time with the tube put in my good ear for the first few days, so I know this time, I just have to wait it out and it will get better. It's not as bad, or maybe I just know what to expect.

* * *

Last Friday, we took the girls to the Springfield zoo. It was a "Dream Night" theme and was open (free) only to children with special needs and their families. They provided us with dinner, a free family photograph, and face-painting. It was uncomfortable and hot, but I really appreciated them doing such a wonderful thing for us. We had a good time. It was interesting, though, because I didn't really see any other kids there like Lara. There were mostly children with cognitive/genetic problems, like Down Syndrome. The children with motor delays were severely effected, using wheelchairs they could not control on their own. Lara was the only one I saw with a walker, and then she mostly walked on her own anyway.

Near the beginning, Lara was playing on a play-set, and Dustin and I were sitting away from her, but constantly keeping an eye on her. We watched, helpless to get there in time, while this crazy little monster-boy intentionally ran toward Lara and pushed her really hard, sending her flying to the ground. Dustin kicked into protective-mode and strode over there quickly; it was perhaps good that the little monster-boy ran away. Lara calmed down, and we went back to the play-set to play while I basically guarded her from the boy, who was pushing down other kids on purpose too. I try SO hard not to be judgmental of other parents, but I couldn't help wonder, "WHERE are this kid's parents?? Why aren't they watching him? They need to discipline this kid or I'll do it for them!!" I was just upset that he hurt my baby.

We took the girls to Grandma and Pepaw's house to spend the night Sunday night. It was the first night for me without the girls. Dustin and I caught a movie. Too bad we couldn't really do anything too fun. I was depressed over the weekend, and exhausted, and I am glad these last few days are behind me. I cleaned all weekend long, and I had asked many friends to help me. Thanks to my friend, Veronica, for giving me a hand and cleaning one of my bathrooms and taking Lara off my hands for a bit!! Some were not able to make it as they ended up with plans on my Cleaning Day. But others...I don't know. I have to admit, this made me a little sad. I mean, it's not like I would really WANT to help a friend clean her house, either, but I wouldn't tell her I'd help her clean or say "tell me if you need anything!" then leave her hanging. Definitely not. So I think that is why I was a little depressed. This is a result of expectations I place on other people. I tend to get upset when people behave a certain way and I think, "That is NOT how I would have handled the situation." I realized through this experience that the phrase "let me know if you need anything," is like saying, "Hi-how are you?" It's not really meant a lot of times; it is an expression we use to help make ourselves feel good. I have some great friends and family who really mean it, but I also have some friends and family who say it just to say it-and then I feel I was lied to. I am not being dramatic-I'm just slow to realize that. I asked Dustin the other day if he had noticed that too, and he just nodded his head. Some of my friends I asked to help me do read this blog, and just couldn't help, and I do not mean for this to offend you. Some of you might be offended, and perhaps that's okay. But I want my friends and family to know that if they ever need anything, I will seriously do what I can to say what I mean. We're not supposed to fulfill our friends' wishes, but, seriously, if I am available, and you need something, I mean it. It feels good to get that off my chest.

So I worked my dis-spirited bones tirelessly over the weekend, trying to get the house ready. It's about done. Not completely.

We got some bad news that the Country House has termite damage, so now we are all weighing other options. Tear down, fix, modular home, who knows?? But the move is still on. Maybe we'll just sleep in tents for awhile. :D

You can see that Jennifer is probably ready for a massage and a fun night out!!

But despite it all, I am in much better spirits today, with the passing of what we hope will be my last ear surgery.

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers. As long as I have that, my greatest needs are taken care of.