What to do?

I heard word that IL is the worst state to live in if you/your child has physical/mental developmental delays. Illinois is our home, but I have often entertained the idea of how much better Lara could be if we lived somewhere else where there are more options...more help, at this critical age.

I get frustrated when people advise me to try out different methods of therapy-hippo (horse riding), aquatic, music, etc. I have to turn a deaf ear because they don't understand that this means driving 45+ minutes one way to go the nearest facility where anything different is offered (nothing like this is even offered in Bloomington, the closest city). They will rave about how Lara would do so well with this therapy, but I feel that sitting in a car a couple hours in a day is counterproductive, not just physically, but for our general well-being. Lara deserves to have options, and I would jump at the chance to do any of these things if they were available to us. I don't like it when people remind me they are not available to Lara.

Lara's PT is very good. We are very lucky to have her. As it is, she is only in Bloomington once a week, and we have to drive one hour in the car for a one hour session that costs $276.00 (thank goodness for health insurance). But once a week is not all that beneficial, yet I am beginning to understand that 2x or 3x would not be either.

I want to be an advocate for my daughter, to get her everything she needs, but we live in a rural area that simply does not have anything.

And, yet, this is the type of place where I think I trive. I love to research and get all the information. I read about products and watch videos and read books, so I can become Lara's therapist. I come up with ideas and find ways to create therapy out of the meaningless. It's easy to get discouraged when her progress slows down or when you think about how you've had to lower your expectations a little every month. And it's easy to feel guilty when your day is too jam packed to exercise, or you're too tired to do even a simple stretch, or when the lack of energy one experiences from being pregnant prevents you from stepping out of doors much of the time (that and the 28 degree weather).

Ultimately, what is comes down to is the constant realization that while I am searching for the knowledge and strength to meet my daughter's needs, God is waiting to supply all of that for me.